Monday, May 9, 2011

Witty Sex Quotes

“Sex on television can't hurt you, unless you fall off.” – Anon

“Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.” – Anon

“The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.” – Anon

“Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” – George Burns

“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” – John Waters

“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?” – Rita Rudner

“My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.” – Woody Allen

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” – Woody Allen

“A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” – Victor Lownes

“Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“[Bisexuality] immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” – Woody Allen

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” – Lily Tomlin

“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.” – Truman Capote

“Don't knock masturbation--it's sex with someone I love.” – Woody Allen

“A dirty book is rarely dusty.” – Anon

“Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.” – Angela Lambert

“Pornography is supposed to arouse sexual desires. If pornography is a crime, when will they arrest makers of perfume?” – Richard Fleischer

1 comment:

  1. Laugh… Because smiling is the second best thing you can do with your mouth!

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